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What Is Narcissism and How Can You Spot a Narcissist

Many of you made heard of narcissists or narcissistic behavior and may ask, “What is narcissism?”, “How can I spot a narcissist?” or, “How can I avoid a narcissist?”

When you know what to look for, you may realize you’re either living with a narcissist, working with one, or may have a parent who exhibited narcissistic behaviors.

Narcissism in not gender specific and although it is not always easy to spot a narcissist, here are a few instances where you may have been dealing with a narcissist and didn’t know it:

If you

• have worked with a demanding boss who made you feel inadequate

• were raised by a domineering parent who had to be right about everything

• dated someone who demanded lots of emotional maintenance but rarely reciprocated

• had family members who challenged and criticized incessantly

• were friends with someone who seemed to require you walk on eggshells around them,

you were more than likely dealing with a narcissist.

Lori Hoeck, of Think Like a Black Belt, and I have written “The Narcissist: A User’s Guide ” to help you understand why a narcissist would be seeking to prey upon you. We’ve gathered stories that illustrate the bewildering ways a narcissist will manipulate circumstances to blame you for everything and make you believe it. You’ll be able to see how a narcissist will use your weak points and words against you for control in the relationship. But more importantly, this e-book is going to help you fight your way out of a harmful situation.

Most people enter adulthood with a fair amount of naïveté. Seeking love and acceptance, they may put up with bad behavior from others. Many will seek approval from their peers or look for an authoritative mentor. Some will think they can change a difficult person with loving kindness. All of these circumstances can be more dangerous than a run-of-the-mill encounter might first suggest. They all signify potential for exploitation to a narcissist.

Narcissists can present themselves in almost any venue. Their method of building themselves up at the expense of others is, paradoxically, rooted in their own low self-esteem. Somewhere, at a very young age, a narcissist begins to think that he or she is inferior to others. That inferiority complex morphs into an ever-increasing need to validate themselves. They do this by putting you down. The lower you are in the pecking order, the higher they can be by comparison. If you buy into the false scenario they’ve constructed, they’ll continue. The process depletes you and feeds them. They are emotional vampires.

The more Lori and I observed and studied narcissistic behavior, the more we realized how prevalent it is. Even if you’ve never dealt with a narcissist, chances are you may know someone who has, or who is currently battling this toxic dynamic. Curiously, though, there are few resources to obtain help, and many of those are more suitable for medical professionals, psychotherapists and counselors.

We know our concise User’s Guide, which turns the tables on the toxic dynamic, can provide needed information and hope.

We’re making the e-book available for free download so that it can easily get to anyone who might benefit.

Defending against a narcissist and leaving the relationship may be the most difficult things someone may face. The most important thing we can do for someone who is involved in a narcissistic relationship is offer support and a respite from the dysfunction. The Narcissist: A User’s Guide provides encouragement, strategies and tips that can be implemented to neutralize and, ultimately, negate a narcissist’s influence.

Download your free copy of “The Narcissist” here.

The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is on Facebook here and on Squidoo here.

This post was written by Betsy Wuebker, author of “Passing Thru” (the blog) and co-author of “The Narcissist” (the free ebook)

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• Researcher: Narcissistic bosses destroy morale, drive down bottom line (scienceblog.com)
• Narcissism, the American Idol way (trueslant.com)
• Joel Weinberger: John Edwards and the Dark Side of the Political Personality (huffingtonpost.com)

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Rich and Tasty Scones

RICH AND TASTY SCONES

Preheat over to 425 degrees

2 cups all purpose flour
1 TBSP baking powder
1/4 -1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup chilled butter – cut into small pieces
1 large egg
1/2 cup half and half (or heavy cream)

*See variations

In a medium bowl combine flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Add butter and cut into flour mixture with a pastry blender until coarse crumbs form.

In a small bowl, whisk egg and half and half together. Add to the flour mixture and stir with a fork until ingredients are moistened and hold together. Gather into a ball and transfer onto a lightly floured surface and knead several times.

Pat into an 8″ round. With a sharp knife cut into 8 equal wedges.

Place wedges slightly apart on an ungreased baking sheet.

Bake until golden brown – about 12 minutes.

Enjoy!

*Variations: Add 1/2 to 1 cup of chopped dried apricots, dried cranberries, or chopped dates

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This recipe will be contributed to the cookbook Patricia, of Patricia’s Wisdom is compiling for a UNICEF fundraiser for which all money raised will go to the UNICEF Children’s Fund.

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Tags: baking, Baking powder, Butter, Cooking, Flour, Home, recipe, Salt, scones, sugar

Jenny McCarthy Blogs On Oprah

On Monday, May 4, 2009, Jenny McCarthy will begin blogging on Oprah.com. Jenny is calling it her “give it up before summer” blog.

She’ll be blogging about how to give up such things as sugar and/or chocolate. If you have anything you want to give up, you can sign into the blog, join in the conversation and share with Jenny McCarthy what it is you’re struggling with.

Like Jenny, is it chocolate? Is it gossiping? Or how about white foods or caffeine?

It’s easy. Just log into Oprah.com. Look for the link to Jenny McCarthy’s blog and leave a comment.

It sounds like a fun endeavor. We all get to weigh in and have our say and read what others are saying, too.

For more information on Jenny McCarthy and her crusade on autism, check out Children With Autism – Help For Parents

Or, you can find some of Jenny McCarthy’s books here:

1. Healing and Preventing Autism: A Complete Guide
2. Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth
3. Louder Than Words: A Mother’s Journey in Healing Autism
4. Mother Warriors: A Nation of Parents Healing Autism Against All Odds

According to Oprah.com it appears Jenny McCarthy’s blog will last for thirty days. If it’s a hit, maybe Oprah will keep Jenny as a permanent blogger on Oprah.com.

Tags: addicts, blog, Blogging, blogs, caffeine, chocolate, comments, giving up, jenny mccarthy, oprah, oprah.com, sugar, weigh in, white foods

Help For Parents With Fat Children

Statistics show children are getting fat at an alarming rate. Helping a child lose excess weight is essential to their health and well being.

Studies show if one or more of the parents of an obese child are overweight, their children may be fat as well.

It comes down to the food and activity choices you and your fat children are making.

Helpful hints:

Only keep healthy foods and snacks in your pantry and refrigerator.

1. Cut up fruits and vegetables, store in clear containers
2. Stock snacks such as low fat popcorn. Some brands are 94% fat free.
3. Buy whole wheat pastas and breads
4. Encourage your children to drink water – stop buying soda and/or juices that are filled with sugar
5. Learn new cooking techniques which reduce calories
6. Talk to your family doctor about a diet for your fat child

Encourage your fat children to exercise

1. Plan walks in the park or on walking trails
2. Organize family bike rides
3. Play games such as basketball or soccer with your children
4. Purchase Wii Fit exercise games. Purchase one or more and play them with your child
5. Child learn from their parents. Set a good example for them by exercising and eating healthy

Stop rewarding fat children with food

1. Reward children with a movie rental – plan low fat snacks
2. Reward them with a toy or an article of clothing
3. Most importantly, reward a children with attention, affection and.or words of encouragement
4. Watch shows such as The Biggest Loser with your children and talk to them about how they feel about being fat

Having a fat child is not only hard on the parents, but is even harder on the fat child. Find whatever help you can by asking your family doctor or friends who have encountered the same problem with fat children.

With fat children showing signs of major health issues, it’s imperative they get help as early as possible.

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• How to keep holidays happy AND healthy for kids (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Tags: activity choices, alarming rate, biggest loser, children, childrens health issues, excess weight, exercise choices, family bike rides, family doctor, fat children, food reward, fruits and vegetables, health issues, healthy foods, healthy snacks, help for parents with fat children, helpful hints, low fat snacks, major health, obese chilldren, pastas, reward children, walking trails, water stop, whole wheat, wii, WiiFit, WiiFit exercise games, words of encouragement

Recovery.gov – President Obama’s New Website

Recovery.gov is the new website for President Obama and the stimulus bill.

With the passage of the latest stimulus bill, named “American Recovery and Reinvestment Act” the Obama administration wants to show the American people where the money is being spent. They also want to show transparency and accountability.

On the Recovery.gov website you’ll find:

President Obama’s mission – click on “About”

Where the money is going

Read the stimulus bill

Timeline for the progress of the stimulus

Share your story

Accountability and Transparency

Watch a video message from President Obama

Announcements

Frequently asked questions (FAQ)

The impact of the stimulus bill

To become an informed citizen, to read the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act stimulus bill and to leave your comments, go to President Obama’s new website,  Recovery.gov, for all of the details.

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How To Hold Onto Your Job During A Recession

Holding onto a job, whether we like it or not, has become essential with the country in a recession. Although many feel collecting unemployment is a good alternative, the benefits of our current job usually outweighs the benefits of being on unemployment.

For example, if your employer offers medical benefits, paying for these benefits ourselves could quickly eat into our weekly unemployment checks, as could the other perks we will no longer receive.

In order to secure our position in a company during a recession, it’s essential to do more than just show up. We need to do more than is expected of us and show those in authority, our skills are more valuable than what we’re being paid.

Some hints to keep in mind:

1) Show up early.

2) Have a good attitude – limit complaining, negativity and/or gossip

3) Volunteer for extra work

4) Be willing to learn other jobs – cross train

5) Show respect for your superiors whether you like them or not

6) Do not abuse your computer access – limit or completely stop personal emails (these can be tracked)

7) Avoid incoming/outgoing personal phone calls – keep them to emergencies only. (your phone may be monitored)

8.) Follow the rules – dress codes, use of personal cell phones, etc.

9) Stay late when needed – be willing to help complete projects

10) Be flexible regarding your work schedule, including working on weekends or your days off

11) Do not abuse sick time, paid time off, or vacation time.

12) Do not steal from your company – not even paper clips

13) If you finish a project, ask for more work instead of just “looking busy”

14) Learn to get along with your peers. Trouble makers are often the first to go.

15) Remember you’re at work to work. Limit your conversations with fellow employee to breaks and/or lunches

16) If needed, take college courses at night to increase your knowledge base

17) Don’t assume seniority will protect you. When layoffs are imminent during a recession, companies often keep those who produce the most

18) Don’t bad mouth the company you work for. Word gets around and others who are trying to hold onto their jobs may repeat what you said to the boss

19) If you deal directly with customers, treat them with respect. Remember, it’s them who pays your wage. Without customers, companies will be forced to downsize or close their doors, recession or not.

20) If your peers notice a change in your attitude and accuse you of sucking up, let them know your job is important to you and you’ve chosen to change your old ways.

Keep in mind, anything you learn on a job is something no one can take away from you. Whether you use this “free education” to procure another job, or move into self employment, what you’ve learned is yours to keep. Make the most of it.

So there you have it. If your job is threatened by a possible layoff due to the recession, put yourself in a position where you and your work will be valued and hopefully you’ll hold onto your job.

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• Fewer Americans Spend Full Year Employed (blogs.wsj.com)

Tags: Business, collecting unemployment, computer access, cross train, Dress code, Education, emergencies, Employment, jobs, keeping a job, Layoff, medical benefits, recession, seniority, Sick leave, Unemployment

10 Blog Traffic Tips

In every bloggers life comes a special day – the day they first launch a new blog. Now unless you went out and purchased someone else’’s blog chances are your blog launched with only one very loyal reader – you. Maybe a few days later you received a few hits when you told your sister, father, girlfriend and best friend about your new blog but that’’s about as far you went when it comes to finding readers.

Here are the top 10 techniques new bloggers can use to find readers. These are tips specifically for new bloggers, those people who have next-to-no audience at the moment and want to get the ball rolling.

It helps if you work on this list from top to bottom as each technique builds on the previous step to help you create momentum. Eventually once you establish enough momentum you gain what is called “traction”, which is a large enough audience base (about 500 readers a day is good) that you no longer have to work too hard on finding new readers. Instead your current loyal readers do the work for you through word of mouth.

Top 10 Tips

10. Write at least five major “pillar” articles. A pillar article is a tutorial style article aimed to teach your audience something. Generally they are longer than 500 words and have lots of very practical tips or advice. This article you are currently reading could be considered a pillar article since it is very practical and a good “how-to” lesson. This style of article has long term appeal, stays current (it isn’t news or time dependent) and offers real value and insight. The more pillars you have on your blog the better.

9. Write one new blog post per day minimum. Not every post has to be a pillar, but you should work on getting those five pillars done at the same time as you keep your blog fresh with a daily news or short article style post. The important thing here is to demonstrate to first time visitors that your blog is updated all the time so they feel that if they come back tomorrow they will likely find something new. This causes them to bookmark your site or subscribe to your blog feed.

You don”t have to produce one post per day all the time but it is important you do when your blog is brand new. Once you get traction you still need to keep the fresh content coming but your loyal audience will be more forgiving if you slow down to a few per week instead. The first few months are critical so the more content you can produce at this time the better.

8. Use a proper domain name. If you are serious about blogging be serious about what you call your blog. In order for people to easily spread the word about your blog you need a easily rememberable domain name. People often talk about blogs they like when they are speaking to friends in the real world (that’’s the offline world, you remember that place right?) so you need to make it easy for them to spread the word and pass on your URL. Try and get a .com if you can and focus on small easy to remember domains rather than worry about having the correct keywords (of course if you can get great keywords and easy to remember then you’ve done a good job!).

7. Start commenting on other blogs. Once you have your pillar articles and your daily fresh smaller articles your blog is ready to be exposed to the world. One of the best ways to find the right type of reader for your blog is to comment on other people’s blogs. You should aim to comment on blogs focused on a similar niche topic to yours since the readers there will be more likely to be interested in your blog.

Most blog commenting systems allow you to have your name/title linked to your blog when you leave a comment. This is how people find your blog. If you are a prolific commentor and always have something valuable to say then people will be interested to read more of your work and hence click through to visit your blog.

6. Trackback and link to other blogs in your blog posts. A trackback is sort of like a blog conversation. When you write a new article to your blog and it links or references another blogger’’s article you can do a trackback to their entry. What this does is leave a truncated summary of your blog post on their blog entry – it’’s sort of like your blog telling someone else’s blog that you wrote an article mentioning them. Trackbacks often appear like comments.

This is a good technique because like leaving comments a trackback leaves a link from another blog back to yours for readers to follow, but it also does something very important – it gets the attention of another blogger. The other blogger will likely come and read your post eager to see what you wrote about them. They may then become a loyal reader of yours or at least monitor you and if you are lucky some time down the road they may do a post linking to your blog bringing in more new readers.

5. Encourage comments on your own blog. One of the most powerful ways to convince someone to become a loyal reader is to show there are other loyal readers already following your work. If they see people commenting on your blog then they infer that your content must be good since you have readers so they should stick around and see what all the fuss is about. To encourage comments you can simply pose a question in a blog post. Be sure to always respond to comments as well so you can keep the conversation going.

4. Submit your latest pillar article to a blog carnival. A blog carnival is a post in a blog that summarizes a collection of articles from many different blogs on a specific topic. The idea is to collect some of the best content on a topic in a given week. Often many other blogs link back to a carnival host and as such the people that have articles featured in the carnival often enjoy a spike in new readers.

To find the right blog carnival for your blog, do a search at blogcarnival.com.

3. Submit your blog to blogtopsites.com. To be honest this tip is not going to bring in a flood of new readers but it’’s so easy to do and only takes five minutes so it’’s worth the effort. Go to Blog Top Sites, find the appropriate category for your blog and submit it. You have to copy and paste a couple of lines of code on to your blog so you can rank and then sit back and watch the traffic come in. You will probably only get 1-10 incoming readers per day with this technique but over time it can build up as you climb the rankings. It all helps!

2. Submit your articles to EzineArticles.com. This is another tip that doesn’t bring in hundreds of new visitors immediately (although it can if you keep doing it) but it’’s worthwhile because you simply leverage what you already have – your pillar articles. Once a week or so take one of your pillar articles and submit it to Ezine Articles. Your article then becomes available to other people who can republish your article on their website or in their newsletter.

How you benefit is through what is called your “Resource Box”. You create your own resource box which is like a signature file where you include one to two sentences and link back to your website (or blog in this case). Anyone who publishes your article has to include your resource box so you get incoming links. If someone with a large newsletter publishes your article you can get a lot of new readers at once.

1. Write more pillar articles. Everything you do above will help you to find blog readers however all of the techniques I’ve listed only work when you have strong pillars in place. Without them if you do everything above you may bring in readers but they won’t stay or bother to come back. Aim for one solid pillar article per week and by the end of the year you will have a database of over 50 fantastic feature articles that will work hard for you to bring in more and more readers.

I hope you enjoyed my list of traffic tips. Everything listed above are techniques I’ve put into place myself for my blogs and have worked for me, however it’’s certainly not a comprehensive list. There are many more things you can do. Finding readers is all about testing to see what works best for you and your audience and I have no doubt if you put your mind to it you will find a balance that works for you.

This article was by Yaro Starak, a professional blogger and my blog mentor. He is the leader of the Blog Mastermind mentoring program designed to teach bloggers how to earn a full time income blogging part time.

To get more information about Blog Mastermind click this link: Click Here!

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Tags: blog, Blog Carnival, blog post, blogger, blogging tips, blogs, Cut copy and paste, Directories, Ezine Articles, pillar articles, Uniform Resource Locator, Website, what is a blog, Word of mouth

Ferrero and Share Our Strength – The Sweetest of Unions

The Ferrero Company is known for it’s chocolates.

Share Our Strength feeds hungry children.

Together Ferrero and Share Our Strength can do wonders

To quote from the Ferrero Chocolates website:

With more than 12 million children – an astounding one in six – at risk of hunger in America, The Ferrero Company is proud to partner with Share Our Strength for the second straight year to help one of the nation’s leading charitable organizations end childhood hunger in the United States.

Share Our StrengthThis holiday season, Ferrero will donate $150,000 to Share Our Strength to help eradicate childhood hunger. The company looks to create additional awareness of this important issue through a national marketing campaign featuring a consumer call-to-action on its packages of Ferrero Rocher® chocolates and Ferrero Rondnoir™ dark chocolates, as well as on its in-store displays.

Join in the campaign! Ferrero invites you to join in the cause by sending a Sweet Message. For every Ferrero Sweet Message sent, an additional donation of $1 will be made to Share Our Strength*.

By clicking on this link (Send Something Sweet) you can participate in Ferrero’s Sweet Message program and help feel hungry children.

Do your part today and help feed hungry children.

Tags: childhood hunger, hunger in america, hunger in the united states, hungry children, rocher chocolates, share our strength, sweet message

Product Review – New and Improved Febreze Fabric Refresher

Febreze has unveiled a new product. It’s named “Febreze Fabric Refresher”. As shown in the photograph, it comes in a trigger spray bottle. A squeeze of the trigger produces a fine mist of scent that will refresh your room and/or fabrics.

The new Febreze products comes in four scents:

1. Lavender Vanilla and Comfort
2. Linen and Sky
3. Spring and Renewal
4. Meadows and Rain

I’m currently using the lavender vanilla and comfort and enjoy the lightness of the scent, as well as its ability to remove odors from a room and from on fabrics. With animals in our home, Febreze has become a mainstay to keep the furniture smelling fresh and clean.

The new and improved bottle has been designed to eliminate leakage and that “quacking” sound the earlier container became notorious for. Hand fatigue is lessened by its ergonomic design.

The complete list of Febreze products are:

1. Febreze Allergen Reducer Fabric Refresher
2. Febreze Antimicrobial Fabric Refresher
3. Febreze Pet Odor Eliminator Fabric Refresher
4. Febreze To Go Fabric Refresher (2.8 oz)
5. Febreze Fabric Refresher Decor Bottles
6. Febreze Auto Fabric Refresher
7. Febreze Air Effects
8. Febreze NOTICEables
9. Febreze Candles

For more information on Febreze products, check out their website at www.febreze.com. While on their website, sign up for their newsletter, coupons and/or any other special promotions they may be offering.

Tags: allergen, coupons, ergonomic design, Fabric Refresher, fabrics, Febreze, febreze air effects, febreze candles, hand fatigue, odor eliminator, pet odor, scents, spray bottle

DTV 2009 – Converter Boxes – Coupons – FAQs

You’ve seen the ads on TV. In February of 2009 you television set will go black. You’ll no longer have access to analog television stations.

According to the TV Converter Box Coupon Program website, they say:

At midnight on February 17, 2009, all full-power television stations in the United States will stop broadcasting in analog and switch to 100% digital broadcasting. Digital broadcasting promises to provide a clearer picture and more programming options and will free up airwaves for use by emergency responders.

This issue can be confusing. The TV Converter Box Coupon Program website has the facts. Here are a few links to their site:

1) Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
2) Your Options.
3) Application for a coupon
4) Locate a converter box retailer near you.

For additional information, including eligible converter boxes and partners, including fact sheets in English and Spanish, click on the TV Converter Box Coupon Program website.

Tags: analog switch, analog television, converter box, converter boxes, coupon program, coupons, digital broadcasting, dtv, fact sheets, february 17, power television, programming options, television set, television stations, tv box, tv converter, united states

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  • 10 Blog Traffic Tips
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