When you know what to look for, you may realize you’re either living with a narcissist, working with one, or may have a parent who exhibited narcissistic behaviors.

Narcissism in not gender specific and although it is not always easy to spot a narcissist, here are a few instances where you may have been dealing with a narcissist and didn’t know it:

If you

• have worked with a demanding boss who made you feel inadequate

• were raised by a domineering parent who had to be right about everything

• dated someone who demanded lots of emotional maintenance but rarely reciprocated

• had family members who challenged and criticized incessantly

• were friends with someone who seemed to require you walk on eggshells around them,

you were more than likely dealing with a narcissist.

Lori Hoeck, of Think Like a Black Belt, and I have written “The Narcissist: A User’s Guide ” to help you understand why a narcissist would be seeking to prey upon you. We’ve gathered stories that illustrate the bewildering ways a narcissist will manipulate circumstances to blame you for everything and make you believe it. You’ll be able to see how a narcissist will use your weak points and words against you for control in the relationship. But more importantly, this e-book is going to help you fight your way out of a harmful situation.

Most people enter adulthood with a fair amount of naïveté. Seeking love and acceptance, they may put up with bad behavior from others. Many will seek approval from their peers or look for an authoritative mentor. Some will think they can change a difficult person with loving kindness. All of these circumstances can be more dangerous than a run-of-the-mill encounter might first suggest. They all signify potential for exploitation to a narcissist.

Narcissists can present themselves in almost any venue. Their method of building themselves up at the expense of others is, paradoxically, rooted in their own low self-esteem. Somewhere, at a very young age, a narcissist begins to think that he or she is inferior to others. That inferiority complex morphs into an ever-increasing need to validate themselves. They do this by putting you down. The lower you are in the pecking order, the higher they can be by comparison. If you buy into the false scenario they’ve constructed, they’ll continue. The process depletes you and feeds them. They are emotional vampires.

The more Lori and I observed and studied narcissistic behavior, the more we realized how prevalent it is. Even if you’ve never dealt with a narcissist, chances are you may know someone who has, or who is currently battling this toxic dynamic. Curiously, though, there are few resources to obtain help, and many of those are more suitable for medical professionals, psychotherapists and counselors.

We know our concise User’s Guide, which turns the tables on the toxic dynamic, can provide needed information and hope.

We’re making the e-book available for free download so that it can easily get to anyone who might benefit.

Defending against a narcissist and leaving the relationship may be the most difficult things someone may face. The most important thing we can do for someone who is involved in a narcissistic relationship is offer support and a respite from the dysfunction. The Narcissist: A User’s Guide provides encouragement, strategies and tips that can be implemented to neutralize and, ultimately, negate a narcissist’s influence.

Download your free copy of “The Narcissist” here.

The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is on Facebook here and on Squidoo here.

This post was written by Betsy Wuebker, author of “Passing Thru” (the blog) and co-author of “The Narcissist” (the free ebook)

Statistics show children are getting fat at an alarming rate. Helping a child lose excess weight is essential to their health and well being.

Studies show if one or more of the parents of an obese child are overweight, their children may be fat as well.

It comes down to the food and activity choices you and your fat children are making.

Helpful hints:

Only keep healthy foods and snacks in your pantry and refrigerator.

1. Cut up fruits and vegetables, store in clear containers
2. Stock snacks such as low fat popcorn. Some brands are 94% fat free.
3. Buy whole wheat pastas and breads
4. Encourage your children to drink water – stop buying soda and/or juices that are filled with sugar
5. Learn new cooking techniques which reduce calories
6. Talk to your family doctor about a diet for your fat child

Encourage your fat children to exercise

1. Plan walks in the park or on walking trails
2. Organize family bike rides
3. Play games such as basketball or soccer with your children
4. Purchase Wii Fit exercise games. Purchase one or more and play them with your child
5. Child learn from their parents. Set a good example for them by exercising and eating healthy

Stop rewarding fat children with food

1. Reward children with a movie rental – plan low fat snacks
2. Reward them with a toy or an article of clothing
3. Most importantly, reward a children with attention, affection and.or words of encouragement
4. Watch shows such as The Biggest Loser with your children and talk to them about how they feel about being fat

Having a fat child is not only hard on the parents, but is even harder on the fat child. Find whatever help you can by asking your family doctor or friends who have encountered the same problem with fat children.

With fat children showing signs of major health issues, it’s imperative they get help as early as possible.

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The youth Ambassadors will travel to Southern Africa this summer for a total of four weeks. During this time in Africa, the HERO Ambassadors will be working with those affected with HIV/AIDS.

To understand how and why this program was initiated, I will provide a quote from the “rules”:

The United Nations Association of the USA (UNA-USA) is looking for 20 high school juniors and seniors and college freshmen (Canada: Grades 11, 12 and 1st year university) to participate in its HERO Youth Ambassador Program for the summer of 2008 (the “Ambassadorship”). Youth Ambassadors will travel to Southern Africa for a total of four weeks as representatives of American and Canadian youth interested in helping those affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa. Youth Ambassadors will visit a number of communities and work at schools funded by UNA-USA’s HERO campaign. Youth Ambassadors will interact with African school children and administrators, lead or participate in extracurricular or enrichment activities involving students, and repair, renovate or paint buildings and classrooms. Activities of the Youth Ambassadors will be photographed, videotaped, chronicled and made available publicly to further public awareness of the Youth Ambassador Program, UNA-USA, and the impact of HIV/AIDS in Africa or for other purposes. Youth Ambassadors will be required to engage in fund raising to defray basic program costs.

HOW TO APPLY:

In the United States, go to one of the following websites:

www.beinggirl.com
www.heroaction.org

In Canada, the link is:

www.protectingfutures.com

WHAT IS REQUIRED:

1) Download, print, and read the search rules (2 pages)

2) Download, print, read and sign the application (3 pages) (parental/legal guardian permission for those under the age of 18)

The application includes a total of 8 essay questions that require detailed answers.

3) Two typed letter of reference (see application for further information)

4) Download, print, read and fill out the “Application Procedures and Program Terms (2 pages)

*5) $5000.00 which will be used for airfare, meals, and other travel expenses

* Part of the “Program Terms” is to raise money for the trip. To quote the program terms, one of the requirements is:

I will create and execute fund raising programs in my school and/or community, designed to defray the costs of my participation in the Youth Ambassador Program and further public awareness of the Youth Ambassador Program, UNA-USA, and the impact of HIV/AIDS in Africa, and will raise a minimum of $5,000 USD to be submitted to UNA-USA no
later than June 15, 2008;

7) Other items needed will include proof of identity, passport, medical insurance, travel insurance, proof of immunizations, letter of medical examination (proof of fitness), plus several other conditions. (See the Application Procedures & Program Terms for details).

Application Submissions may not be made by any other method, and any Application Submissions received by any other method, including via the Internet, by hand delivery or overnight delivery service, will not be considered

If you have read this far, meet the qualifications, and are still interested in traveling to Africa, time is of the essence. All entries must be postmarked no later than March 1, 2008.

For a chance of a lifetime, click on one of the above links and begin your journey.

Good Luck!

If you are chosen, drop me a comment so I can cheer you on.

This is a very interesting non-profit organization. It was started by a young couple by the names of Matt and Jessica Flannery. The idea for Kiva.org, came to them while working in East Africa.

Kiva says:

We let you loan to the working poor

Kiva lets you connect with and loan money to unique small businesses in the developing world. By choosing a business on Kiva.org, you can “sponsor a business” and help the world’s working poor make great strides towards economic independence. Throughout the course of the loan (usually 6-12 months), you can receive email journal updates from the business you’ve sponsored. As loans are repaid, you get your loan money back.

The concept behind Kiva is that they are a liaison between struggling businesses and potential lenders. Lenders can loan as little as $25.00, or loan as much as the business owner is “asking for”.

Or as in Kiva’s words:

Kiva.org allows individuals to make $25 loans to low-income entrepreneurs in the developing world (microfinance). By doing so, individuals like you provide affordable working capital for the poor (money to buy a sewing machine, livestock, etc.), empowering them to earn their way out of poverty.

It’s a new, direct and sustainable way to fight global poverty…..

I find this to be a most interesting concept. Granted, it could be risky, as is any time you loan money. But, if a small loan could enable a person to start, or grow their business, how rewarding it would be to see them succeed.

I spent a considerable amount of time on the Kiva.org website. They have a great “Frequently Asked Questions” section, plus examples of people who have been helped thus far.

I think this is an awesome way to help others. The dollars you lend, don’t just feed one or two people. Your dollars contribute to a family’s future, therefore taking the burden off of the local economy.

If you’re looking for a way to show support and help to fight global poverty, this is a great site to check out.

Remember, contributing to this non profit is not a tax write off. You are “loaning money”, not donating money. When the business you contribute to succeeds, you get your money back.

As always, read the fine print, and be an informed “consumer”.

After noticing this pattern of behavior for several days, the mother asked her daughter, “Why are you so hungry when you come home from school? Don’t you eat your lunch?”

The little girl replied, “No, I give it to some children, who come to school, with no food at all.”

Although she was touched by her daughter’s generosity, this raised a red flag with the mother. She decided to pursue the issue.

What she found was, many children were coming to her daughter’s school, without lunch, and without money to buy lunch. She also found out, that these children came from homeless families, poor families, single parent families, families on a low fixed income, or sometimes, food was withheld from children, as a form of abuse.

The mother became very concerned about these hungry children, and decided something had to be done. She had known of hungry children in third world countries. She had seen the ads on TV, for “Feed The Children”. But, to have hungry children in the United States? This issue hadn’t been on the news. Something was wrong.

The mother declared: “No child should go hungry”.

Everyday, the mother would send extra food with her daughter, to help feed these hungry children. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long. Soon, the little girl was coming home with all of the food the mother has packed. Confused, the mother asked her daughter, why she was bringing all of the food back home.

The little girl stated that she was getting in trouble at school for sharing food.

When the mother approached the school about this matter, the school stated that it is their policy to not let children share food (allergy issues). The school also said that if a child came to school with no lunch, or money to buy food, the school would give them a pint of milk, and a small container of apple sauce. (Hardly enough nourishment for a growing child) *

The mother became more frustrated. She was bound and determined to feed these innocent, hungry children. She had friends in high places, so she enlisted their support, and took action.

It’s because of that sweet and kind, seven year old girl, who willingly gave her lunch to hungry children, and the determination of her mother, that a non-profit organization, named Dare to Care – Alaska, was created. Their slogan is, “No Child Goes Hungry”.

Dare to Care – Alaska is now helping to feed hundreds of children in 16 schools. During the summer months, Dare to Care – Alaska, also feeds dozens of children at a local “”food bank”, which they’ve set up. Food, paper plates, utensils, the distribution center, and the time worked, by volunteers, is donated.

Dare to Care – Alaska, holds fund raisers, galas, fashion shows, and also relies on donations (monetary, or food and food related items), from generous and caring individuals.

On July 12, 2007, Nordstrom (Anchorage), partnered with Kayne Gillaspie (Project Runway designer) and Dare to Care – Alaska, and sponsored a fashion show, called “Fashions For Food”, to help raise money for hungry children. The fashion show was a success and all proceeds went to Dare to Care – Alaska.

According to Dare to Care – Alaska,

Teachers, nurses, counselors, principals and cafeteria managers identify students based on their chronic hunger, their lack of a bag lunch, or their inability to charge a meal due to an already existing excessive charge balance.

School staff members notify Dare to Care of the need in their school, and Dare (to Care) provides the school with funds for food accounts to be set up in the names of those students identified. The accounts are monitored and replenished as needed. Some students may need help for a week – others may need help for months or even the whole school year

Participating, or donating to Dare to Care – Alaska’s program, is easy. Just visit their website. Donations can be made either through a secure PayPal section of their website, or by mail. If you’re in the area of the Dare to Care – Alaska’s headquarters, and would like to volunteer, contact information can be found on their website.

This is just one story of how a mother and daughter have taken it on themselves to make a difference in the world. No matter where you live, I’m certain there are plenty of children who have “fallen through the cracks”. Children who aren’t being fed in school. Children who may be malnourished because their care givers are withholding food as a form of punishment.

If this is an issue that tugs at your heartstrings, find a way to help the hungry and malnourished children in your community.

If a seven year old girl, is willing to sacrifice her own lunch, so that children who have no food, can have at least one meal for the day, don’t you think we, as adults, should do a lot more?

Don’t let another child go hungry.

FYI: Dare to Care – Alaska, is not affiliated with any other Dare to Care program.

* Although there are Federal “free” and “reduced-fee” meal programs, many families don’t qualify, due to conditions that are not considered on the application form, i.e.out of pocket medical expenses, tragedies such as a house fire, deployment of a parent who’s in the military, etc.

I love the story of how this non-profit organization was founded. Children are often the ones who open our eyes to problems in the world, and the story of this little girl, sure opened mine.

BTW: This story is from 2006, which proves, the “system”, is not protecting our children.