In this day and age where there are so many singles, looking for love, many have turned to online dating services. The question is, do they work?
I’ve heard of quite a few couples who have met online, using online dating services, and went on to get married. I’ve also heard about others who didn’t have a good experience. I think it has a lot to do with the attitude of the individuals entering online dating services.
Will you meet that head turning, beautiful or handsome mate on line? Maybe. But, maybe, instead you’ll meet someone who’s not a “knock out”, but is funny, attentive, caring, compassionate, and loving, and who would be a great parent. They may be overweight, but that’s not a permanent problem. We’ve all heard of diets, and…extreme makeovers. They could be your “diamond in the rough”.
It is said, you can tell how a man will treat a woman, by the way he treats with his Mother or sister(s). The same probably holds true on how a woman treats her father or brother(s). If you’re not seeing respect being showed to their blood relatives, chances are, they won’t show you respect either. Watch the interaction between the parents of your potential love interest? That will tell you lots. After all, children learn what they live.
If you’re looking for a partner who will be a good parent, watch how they interact around children. Are they loving and patient with the children? Or, could they be a pervert? Keep your eyes open.
I think it’s also important what your friends think of your new love interest. They see things you aren’t seeing. Ask them, but be prepared for the truth, too. If they’re seeing “red flags”, don’t dismiss what they have to say. It’s always good to get an unbiased opinion.
Remember, you fall in love with a person for who they are. Chances are, they won’t change much. You gotta love them with their quirks and all. If you marry someone, thinking you can change them, then maybe, they’re not the one for you. People do change to a degree when they’re in a relationship for a long period of time-the traits of the other one often rub off-but, don’t expect it. As it’s said: “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”
Communication is probably the most important thing in a relationship. If you can’t talk to each other, why would you want to be married to them? If the other person does something that bothers you, or says something that hurts you, speak up. Don’t bottle it up inside, assuming they know why you’re upset. They’re not mind readers. And remember, men and women think differently.
Do relationships work when the individuals come from different backgrounds? Sometimes, however, it’s not often you see someone coming from an affluent background marrying someone from a low income background, and them having a marriage that works. If you want to marry for money, that’s exactly what you’ll get-money and lots of material possessions, but not necessarily love. Is that really what you want? Only you have the answer.
I love it when I see old couples walking hand in hand. If you talk to them about their marriage, they’ll tell you of the struggles they had, but the struggles were what make their love stronger. You often hear couples say that the happiest times in their lives were the most stressful. They may not have had two pennies to rub together, but they had each other. They were side by side during those hard times, and during the good times. Often their interests may have gone in opposite directions, but they always supported each other. Now, that’s love.
I also think it’s also important to first learn to love ourselves, and secondly, we shouldn’t settle for just anyone who comes along. Sometimes you have to kiss a few toads, before you find your special “prince” or “princess”. Forcing a relationship won’t work. Marrying someone for the wrong reasons, usually doesn’t work. “Trapping” another person into marrying you, doesn’t create a good marriage.
Be honest with yourself, and about yourself, when you enter into online dating. There is someone out there who will love you for just the way you are. Don’t project yourself as someone you’re not. Starting a relationship on lies, does not build a good foundation for a possible future marriage. If the other person can’t trust what you say now, how will they ever trust you later?
Be honest! Communicate! Have Fun!
Try some of the previous links, or click on the following links, to online dating services . Join them all, and see if you can find that “special” someone. Did it work for you? Drop me a comment. I’m a sucker for happy endings.